Tuesday, 14 June 2011

acting up in chapel and downtown: why i fail at being a christian and a good moral citizen

back at school, every thursday morning, we have chapel
as a christian, i should take it seriously.
try having chapel with my 2/3 best friends anne* and jas*

it doesnt help the chaplain is an extremist. saying stuff like
one day, the chaplain storms in. the night before there was a music concert. so the chapel was rearranged. she storms in complaining about how she spent all night and this morning moving it back by herself. well were sorry we were aslleep and had no clue. we werent notified... then she said something made me put my head in my hands, and anne and jas crack up. 'i felt like jesus!!" jas bursts out laughing, im red with half embarrasment at this lady's extremity which il later be bagged out for and half the urge to not laugh. anne starts giggling until a teacher glares at her.

she was telling us all about how jesus ascended into heaven after he died. i was deep in thought. thiinking about it. the easter stories i was told, the easter that mum got an orange choc chip cake... oh the memories. until she blurted out. 'and he shot up into space like a rocket... psssshhhhhhhh!!!!! raising her hand. that did it. us three just fell into giggles. i copped it for God, but im not copping it for a lady whose embarrasing more than preaching. people would ask me if i preached, if i preached like that, if us christians were that nutty. no. just her.

we were listening one day to her tell the story about how jesus made more bread and fish to feed a crowd. the chaplain had to be ridiculous and say 'jesus had a barbecue on th ebeach with alllll the little fishies' finishing with a smile. i smiled politely trying to not laugh. jas. was crying, a teacher jabbed her shoulder and she tried to stop... oh jas. anne was the same. it was too hard to not laugh. not out of disrespect, but out of the fact it was indeed hilarious. even if someone younger said this it would be funny.

this one time in chapel we learnt a new song. god has a table. the chaplain wasnt exactly in tune... her voice like a dead opera singer.... as she hit the high chorus notes, jas imitated and me and anne were helpless. just sat/stood there laughing. at one point i started crying through laughing so much. it was epic.
after that, she said we reminded her of sardines in a tin, all huddled together. oh dear

while we were singing another chapel song, jas was singing out of tune on purpose. she sung this one part extremely loud and way off chord that the teacher pulled her to the side and made her stand up. i couldnt stop giggling so in the end i had to join her. me and anne had a singing lesson at 9, so i mouthed what time is it to anne, who was sitting down respectively. she whispered '8.56' enough for the teacher to hear her so there we stood the rest of chapel giggling. it wasnt punishment at all actually. in fact it was the funnest day that year.

after wards we got asked if we were trying to be cute?? we just collapsed on the ground laughing. we didnt see how that was being 'cute'.
then the teacher started saying we would get detentions. anne says: oh my brother is this person...
having her brother a teacher fave, she got told to go to class. me and jas couldnt believe it. so i said, my brother is such and such. jas just said, 'o thanks' as i skipped off to class. and left jas there to get yelled at. hahah

there was this time, i had hair extensions, and thought i was pretty cool. jas, me and anna saw the maitnence (grumpy maitenence) guy tractor. it was just sitting there, asking for trouble. jas takes the head muffs, puts them on and dances around the forest. i throw anne my camera and jump on the tractor, doing the most obvious poses. a teacher came around the corner but i couldnt get off quick enough, jas threw the head things behind a tree and anne stood there with the camera frozen.
the teacher just stops and glares at me. oh s*** i thought. im so dead. the teacher tells anne and jas to go to class but they stop just behind her. so while shes yelling at me, jas and anne are dirty dancing behind her. i cant stop myself from crackin up and get yelled at more. nearly in tears from laughing.

the photos are somewhere. i dont know where, but somewhere in my laptop.

there was these thomas the tank engine toys in target. extremely annoying as they started talking when you walked past. me and anne decided to make it our mission, and a competition as to who can get by them without setting them off. so, taking up the challenge, in the middle of target, people staring, i got down on my belly and crawled. i nearly crossed the finish line when they all said. 'hi im thomas' sang a couple of ridiculous songs. we waited till they shut up for anne to have her go. she failed. this happened three times to each of us until i went really slowly, stopping to rest. the minute my foot was a centimeter from crossing the line i stopped. no singing, i lay there for ages. breathing until i swung my foot over. we waited 5 seconds. no ridiculous singing at all.
afterwards, we went and bought a transformer toy for the other as our token of friendship :) coz were chilled with each other like that.

ive realised that me, anne and jas are not, NOT, good role models for each other, but we have so much fun anyway...

xxxx
cha (i miss these two :) as well as others)

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